Monday, May 31, 2010

The Garden

He loved her since they were small children. He'd watch over her as she tried outrageous things, always making sure she did not hurt herself in the process. They grew up together, their houses in very close proximity, their families being friends since time immemorial, them sharing one garden. They shared secrets to noone but each other.

He realized he loved her when she was eighteen. During her coming-out party. He could not keep his eyes off her, she sparkled like a diamond. And when she smiled at him, he knew he wanted that smile to be bestowed only upon him. No one else. And yet, he was afraid. These feelings, though natural, were also somewhat unwelcome. It could mean the destruction of their friendship. And so he kept his silence that night.

Keeping away from her was quite hard. But he did just that, so as not to blurt his feelings so suddenly. He wanted to give her the world, but he also knew she had to experience a bit about it by herself. She was a grown woman now, he'd remind himself. Capable of making her own decisions. So he told himself that he'd wait for the right time. But he learned to quickly, and unfortunately, too late, that there was no right time...

Deciding to ask her to be his wife, he drove to town one day to buy her a ring. An eternity ring. On the way, he passed by an overturned carriage, with people on the street looking over it, shaking their heads. Preoccupied with the urgency to buy the ring, he did not stop to inquire about the said carriage. He went directly to the garden when he got home, knowing perfectly that he'd find her there, in her usual spot, reading a novel or just simply dozing on the bench. When he got there, she was no where to be found.

He was about to bound straight to the backdoor of her house when he saw a movement to his right. He turned. And there she was, although he knew that something was not quite right... She somehow had a glow about her. He went to her and embraced her. She smiled at him. He professed his love and told her of his plans for both of them. Then he presented the ring. She continued to smile, but now there were tears flowing from her eyes. She said that she loved him since they were young but he showed no inclination to take it further than friendship. That she had been waiting for this the whole time. And now, her every dream had been fulfilled.

The sorrow on her face tore his heart apart. He apologized for waiting far too long to tell her these things. He slid the ring on her finger and wiped the tears from her face. Then she smiled once again, saying she had already forgiven him for everything and wanted the both of them to only look forward. He said he was going to talk to her parents at that very moment. Her face became troubled, but she did not argue with him. Instead, she kissed him long and sweet and bid him to come back immediately to her about any news. He smiled and promised to be back, saying he would be able to pursuade her parents to give her to him.

He went directly to her family's main hall where, he was told by a maid, her parents were waiting. Oblivious to the red eyes of the maids he passed, he greeted her parents jovially. Then came the shocking news. The overturned carriage he passed earlier was carrying his beloved. she died though, because she did not get immediate medical attention. Her parents were informed way too late and the people around waited far too long to call an ambulance. Her body was brought to the door of their house a few minutes earlier.

He staggered to a chair, the blood draining from his face. He asked if he could see her. Her parents agreed, though not before exchanging worried glances. He went to her room and took a deep breath before entering. Her chamber, he noted, was very somber. He beheld her body, now cleansed of blood, on top of her bed. The flickering light from the slowly dying sun shone on her hand, momentarily blinding him. He looked closer. On her face, a smile of an angel. On her hand, his eternity ring.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Maybe Some Other Time

They've known each other since high school. He even tried courting her once but totally crashed and burned. They've been friends since. But lately, things have been quite awkward for them...

They'd steal glances of each other when they think the other is not looking. She has butterflies, which she attributes to a bad stomach, whenever he is near. He can't get her out of his head, which in turn he attributes to serious head injury. But that did not change their views of each other...

"Be a little bit more feminine, maybe I'll ask you out again."

"HAH! In your dreams! It'll have more sense to date a monkey!"

Yep, he was still a major jerk, she was still the pain in the arse....

Nevertheless, when they are alone, he finally says the right things that make her smile. And he smiles as well. Even without the words, they know they're meant for each other. Who else would accept each other as well as they could. They accept that it just isn't the time, right now that is. Sometime, maybe, it will be. And things will be all right in the world, as it is now...



Post Script...
This story is a total departure from my usual genre... ... Feel free to flame and comment.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

The Trip

She looked out the window of their room. The hotel was situated near the beach, their room overlooking the bay. Her hair disheveled, she looked over her shoulder at the sleeping form of her husband. She was happy, somehow...

She went over to their luggage. They carried only enough for a few days stay. She took out a small travel diary, with details about a few certain spots she knew she'd have to visit. Hugging the small hardbound book to her chest, she tiptoed across the room and went out of the room. She spied a coffee shop at the lobby.

Sitting at an empty corner, she opened the diary. It contained small notes, text messages, and e-mails. And one very small photo from years past. She silently shook her head, a small smile formed upon her dewy lips. That was a time she'd rather not reminisce.

But memories still made their way to her conscious mind. This trip was supposed to be THEIRS... But he changed... she changed... they grew up... He invited his new girl to THE TRIP... And it hurt so much...

She felt her heart flutter once again, after a very long time. And when it did, she never let go again. But whenever she saw the photo, their photo, she thought of times past and the "what if's".

She looked up, and though she could not see the room, she knew her husband would be there, waiting... forever for her... And she looked down at the book sitting at her lap. And she smiled, finally a true one graced her mouth...

As people passed the fireplace, no one seemed to notice that the fire burned ever so brightly. Nor did they notice that right at the corner of that brightly burning fireplace was a small hardbound book adding to the flame...

Friday, May 28, 2010

Resurrection

I BLINKED MY EYES. It was dark. I was surrounded by gloomy-looking trees and a cold draft swept around my ankles. I looked down on my chest. I saw it. I saw the knife protruding from my area where my heart lies. I coughed and tasted blood. I knew death would not be long.

I looked around me and saw shadows about. I called to them. They came near, grinning wickedly. I knew immediately that they were the ones who did this to me. I backed away, but they caught up to me. They twisted the knife deeper. I pleaded and cried for them to stop the torment. They only sneered at me. Finally they let go, leaving me to stand on my own. But they did not depart. They wanted to see the rest of the show. The show entitled "My Death".

I stumbled forward, stunned by what was happening. I fell to the ground, feeling weak and desperate. Suddenly I felt that I was being lifted from the ground. With my remaining strength, I lifted my head. My eyes collided with a body, one that I knew so well. It was my own.

I saw the old me; the one who wore a lot of masks, the one who kept herself hidden, the one who never shared her problems, the one who never felt anything and couldn't be bothered by anything. I saw all that I was before the hurt, the pain brought on by them. My chest ached. The old me hugged my body tighter, as if comforting me in my final moments. And I felt safe. Bound by my own arms to that familiar body, I felt protected by the same coccoon that held me a few years back. My heavy eyelids slid down. I felt released from everything that previously held me in ball and chain.

I opened my eyes and I knew... The old me was back... I'M BACK...

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Doll

HE LOVED HER EYES. He felt that he could look in them forever and never tire. Maybe because her eyes showed every emotion she feels, a window to HER soul it may be. He never really knew why he always felt that he could drown in those chocolate brown pools deep set on her face.

She was a very engaging conversant. He was never once bored with every meeting. They would talk for hours on end aboout topics that range from current topics to nonsensical wonderings. Her voice, he knew, was the siren's call that would lure him to his destruction. It is also his saving grace. Not once did he suspect that she was keeping a grave secret.

He was visiting a sick relative that fateful day. He was just paying the rest of the medical bills when his gaze was arrested on the clinic door. He saw her. She looked stricken but still held her composure and he loved her for it. He knew a lot who went in hospitals, for whatever reason, went out crying or collapsing. As he approached her, he noticed the white sheet she was clinging to. Her hand was shaking violently. He stood before her now... she looked up... and for a moment stood silently, pleading him to understand. And she said the dreaded words...

"I'm dying in a month's time."

He stared blankly at her, not quite believing the words. And yet, the quiet truth in her eyes undid his disbelief. He felt that a month was not enough to show how he loved her. But he is going to try anyway. He always thought that a miracle would happen.

Her passing was sudden. She was lying on the lounge on his lap when he suddenly felt her hand go limp in his. He felt for a pulse and there was none. He is silently crying now. On her burial he stood behind the crowd, giving his goodbye the way she would have wanted.

He looked again at the doll before him. He created it himself, in the likeness of his beloved. Everything was crafted by his hand. Except for the eyes. Those chocolate brown eyes that he would never tire looking at, forever and a day.



Post Script: a dedication

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Flight...

It's turning out to be another rotten day. The weather is even in-tune with her feelings... not that THAT was needed as a confirmation or a sign that her emotions were going haywire. The floorboards creaked ever so slightly as she crossed the corridoor. Her family was soooo not going to like what she's planning to do but there's no stopping her. The anger she felt was quickly turning into hot white rage and she knew that once that happens, her personality would morph into something "The Hulk" would not even compare...

Her life was fairly simple, that is if she lived by herself. She unfortunately had the good luck to live with her family. She is surrounded by friends who love her to bits. And yet, times when she felt overlooked and unappreciated overwhelms the good things... She has all too often wished to the gods for a person to at least understand her... She finally decided she has waited long enough, that person was not coming any time soon...

She planned for a new life, a new start somewhere far away. A place far enough that the crazy would only be able to reach her via the telephone or the internet, both of which she seldom uses. She has told no one of her plans, not even her closest of friends. She silently packed essentials for the trip the day before she left. Her family would suspect if they even saw a bag being packed days earlier.

She stepped out onto the road, holding on to her small travelling pack on one hand and her umbrella on the other. It was midnight. Her plane is to depart before her family wakes up. She left them a note, she was sure they would see it before they all went nuts about her departure.

The roads were slick because of the nonstop rain. Her intent was to get to the nearest bus stop and catch the earliest ride to the airport. She was so into her own thoughts. As she alighted the sidewalk to cross the road, she turned just in time to see the headlights of the approaching van. The last thing she heard was the screeching tires that would never stop in time...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Thoughts...

Her Thoughts... His Thoughts

I shouldn't love you.
I mustn't love you.

You're a complete contradiction to my beliefs.
You oppose me at every turn.
Everyday is an argument.
Every hour a challenge.

We mix like oil and water.
More like fire and ice.

You're as strong-headed as I am.
You'd ne'er accept defeat, as would I.
I could not understand you.
I never did try to.

You are too grounded, stiff as a tree.
You're a free soul, too flighty and outspoken.
Our thoughts never coincide.
Our tastes never jive.
And yet...
And yet...
I do love you...
I do love you...

Monday, May 24, 2010

A Boring Mortality

Death can't come quickly
For someone like me;
Who has a lot of ailments
Within my person.

Don't get me wrong,
I love my life;
But possible complications
Curb a lot of adventures.

It's a nuisance, an inconvenience,
To the people around me.
I do not like the fact that I
Am the reason for their anxiety.

I try to enjoy life the best that I can;
Exist in the way that I want.
But there are times when I just wish
That the problems within me vanish.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Guess You Weren't

Guess you weren't
The person I thought you were
Your lies, the deceit
I have had to live through.

If I live those memories again
I'll go crazy for sure.
I don't need the heartache
Nor the headache that you bring.

I'll assure you that I am fine
I promise you I will be
Once you get out of my life
That will be a reality.

It was a roller-coaster ride
That made me nauseous and dizzy.
I swear I won't ride again,
Because you're not the one for me.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Poem 00

Are you the one made for me?
The only one who'll understand
My ups and downs, the crazy,
The one who'll survive that?

Are you the one who was sent
To help me forget the past,
The hurt and pain, the tears,
The one to make all of it go away?

Are you the one who'll stick with me
Even though I'm not much of a talker,
My mood changes like the weather,
And I may at times be cold?

I'm not looking for a lot, no.
I just want someone who'll stay,
Who'll need me and love me,
But I don't feel that from you.

We'll try to work this out, I know.
We'll see how and where this'll go.
I'm hoping for change to come,
To know if you're really the one for me.

Friday, May 21, 2010

How I Feel Today

Can't decide whether to divide
My heart, my soul, my mind.
Pulled in all directions
With no clear place to go.

Pouring rain beating my windows
Cloudy and gray is my sky today.
But with my blinded eyes I try to see
The clear blue hiding behind it.

I try to calm my pounding heart
And ease my troubled mind
I'd like to have a problem-free life
So far, it's been nothing like that.

A roller-coaster ride is how it feels
A life like this, I'm destined to live.
I'm not mincing words when I say
My life has been one hell of a crazy ride.

I continue on this road
With its many blocks and potholes
It makes me sad and I want to cry
And sometimes, I just want to die.

Hopelessness, I sometimes feel
Whenever I am totally alone.
Within the four corners of my room,
Despair is always there.

My hidden feelings, I try to say
But no words would come to me.
Someday , I know I'll learn
How to do things my way.

Everything in my life has run amok
Yet I try to find some peace.
The light at the end of my tunnel
Seems so near yet truly so far from me.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Called Love...

Do we really know love?
One that's true, that's pure
One that could sacrifice
One that could understand?
Is the love you feel true?
True enough for it not to be tainted
By lies, by intrigues, by rumors?
Or is that love just pity for the other?
Is your love pure?
Is it one that does not ask, just gives?
Is it one that doesn't wish for more?
And even then, do you still find it fulfilling?
Could you sacrifice for your love?
Your money, your time, your personality,
Your family or your life without a second thought,
For the one you love?
Could you easily understand the person?
Because you love him?
Could you accept their reasons?
Or excuses because of your love?
Love is not bound by time and space
It could not be kept in a small box
And could not be given reasons as to why, how, and so on.
Such is the feeling called love.