How I Feel Today

Can't decide whether to divide
My heart, my soul, my mind.
Pulled in all directions
With no clear place to go.

Pouring rain beating my windows
Cloudy and gray is my sky today.
But with my blinded eyes I try to see
The clear blue hiding behind it.

I try to calm my pounding heart
And ease my troubled mind
I'd like to have a problem-free life
So far, it's been nothing like that.

A roller-coaster ride is how it feels
A life like this, I'm destined to live.
I'm not mincing words when I say
My life has been one hell of a crazy ride.

I continue on this road
With its many blocks and potholes
It makes me sad and I want to cry
And sometimes, I just want to die.

Hopelessness, I sometimes feel
Whenever I am totally alone.
Within the four corners of my room,
Despair is always there.

My hidden feelings, I try to say
But no words would come to me.
Someday , I know I'll learn
How to do things my way.

Everything in my life has run amok
Yet I try to find some peace.
The light at the end of my tunnel
Seems so near yet truly so far from me.