What is the "V" word that send most men, and women for that matter, scurrying to their respective safe zones? Virginity. Why, one might ask, would people steer clear of this word. This one word brings stigma, anxiety, judgment, and biases, with just one mention of it. The world just simply could not decide whether it would persecute or uplift those with or without it. The norms are not really that defined for everyone. Do people really still care about it? Is it still a virtue? Or is it just an encumbrance?
Searching for articles in the internet regarding this very topic, and everything that comes along with it quite hard to come by. Big magazine sites that offer advice on almost everything under the sun (sex, cosmetics, fashion, etc.) does not really help in showing the plight of those who are under crisis about this.
I am writing this as a 23 year-old virgin who, while writing this, is not really giving medical or psychological advice. I am just opening up my mind about both sides of the coin. This article is not meant to judge anyone, as I try to keep my own personal preference from coloring this with biases.
Today, people often lose their virginity during high school. Thus, it has become somewhat like a norm that guys are most likely sexually active already when they reach their 20's. However, it is not uncommon for some to keep it intact as well. For whatever reason, truth is that there are some guys out there who are virgins (in it's clinical sense). Ridicule or stern advice on sex is often expected by such from other guy friends. Girls, on the other hand, would try to understand this guy, even though most of them would analyze and criticize the guy afterward.
Guys who are non-virgins, on the other hand, are often seen as players, depending on how many girls they have slept with. The more "conquests" they have, the more their buddies will cheer them on. Girls may or may not be enthralled by having a very experienced boyfriend or mate however. there are those who would see it as a plus factor, with the guy being able to lead inside the bedroom department, others may view it as a negative thing, that the guy may not truly be interested in them and is just making another conquest.
On girls, the stigma attached to virginity is greater. For those with it, they may feel as though they are out of touch, not only with the world, but even with their peers. It is not exactly peer pressure, though it is quite near, when one could not join the conversation of those who are sexually active. Though most girl friends are very understanding, some even encourages the "virgin one" to continue in her "unbroken" state, the girl would undoubtedly feel hampered by her beliefs while all her friends are enjoying sex. Also, this frightens potential suitors from even coming near you. They fear that if "chosen", the girl would cling to them for life, just because she gifted him with the specialness of being her first. Not exactly. There are guys who become clingy after this event. Have guys ever really thought about this factor, that maybe they might be the ones who become attached to being a girl's first? These girls are often seen as puritanical, prudish, and cloistered.
Girls who are non-virgins are viewed in a different angle. They are often seen as women of the world, independent, and empowered. However, when a girl has too many "experiences", guys and other girls would label her a slut, no matter how modern our world is. Also, in general, guys tend to feel special when they are the 'first", even though they may accept a girl who has lost her virginity. Most of that probably comes from male machismo. When placed in very traditional settings, these girls are often seen as their exact opposite int he modern world: unconventional, and are labeled with low moral codes.
In any case, whatever state your virginity may be, with the right person beside you, these confusing times could be weathered through. The right person would understand the situation and support you whatever you decide.
When a single person, aka "The Free Agent", mingles with others who are the same, romantic possibilities are way off the roof. This is the right time to say that "All's fair in love and war" because other singles may take the other person as well. Fight fairly, friends, because in this part, everyone who has the first dibs on the goods does not necessarily win the goods.
